Q: My man likes to watch porn when we’re having sex, but this makes me uncomfortable. What’s the best way to negotiate this?

A: I’d try the direct approach. Let him know your true feelings, but don’t be judgmental about his habit. Ask him to work with you so you can resolve this sexual difference together. Try suggesting the two of you make love sometimes without using pornography as an added stimulation.

In addition, try compromising a little. Properly used to jumpstart desire, porn can be used much like a sex toy to add zest to physical intimacy between partners. You can still focus on your man when you and he make love with an arousing porn flick playing a supporting role. Simply close your eyes and think about who you’re with and how he makes you feel.

Although excessive pornography can become addictive and backfire in a relationship, prudent use of it can also help to make you more receptive to sex with your partner. Sometimes, if you relax a little, you may find that these sexual fantasies also serve to turn you on.

If your partner showers you with love and affection before, during and after your sexual encounters, and your relationship is sound, a little porn-watching usually won’t numb your desire for each other.

In all fairness, porn and fantasy can work to create more sexual heat during lovemaking. The trick is to avoid chronic reliance on these visuals in the bedroom.