Okay now I know this sounds crazy for me to suggest that there is something remotely redeemable from the notorious dating predators Pick Up Artists but there is. Pick up artists are people who date people just to have sex with them. This is an activity which seems harmless but when you factor in that these people do not concern themselves with the feelings of the people they have sex with and that they pose as something they are not to achieve this goal then you are better able to understand the danger they present. As a Hip Hop Dating Coach I studied dating just like other dating coaches. Dating coach is a relatively new title and occupation. The title Dating coach actually comes from a pick up artist instructor. In the late 60s and early 70s when men started using persuasive business selling techniques to influence women into dating them the Pick up artist instructor was born. Now it sounds to dastardly to call yourself a Pick up artist instructor so these sex addicts decided calling themselves dating coaches was better. This was something that I was not aware of when I started studying male/female relations and become the first Hip Hop Dating coach. In a book store I was told about a book called The Game by Neil Strauss. This book was biography of a pick up artist. While reading it I found information that I had not found in other books. While it was written for adult men the information in the book seemed so elementary that it made me laugh. It had stories about the difficulties men had meeting women. How they had problems saying hello and holding someone’s interest when they first met them. It had ideas on how to gain a pretty girl’s interest. All of these things I could identify with. They were feeling and challenges I faced in middle school and high school and I continued to struggle with throughout my 20s. The book talked to guys in ways that guys didn’t even talk to each other, so I thought. I found the information very helpful for a person like me who didn’t have many of the extreme difficulties that the men in the book had.
Before I list some of the things that pick up artists teach prospective PUAs I must first explain what differentiates me from a PUA instructing dating coach. I teach people how to use dating to find a life partner while PUA instructors teach MEN how to pick up attractive women for the purpose of having sex. There are even more specific books like The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. I think PUAs trick the spread of STDs and pollute the dating environment by break the hearts of the women the trick into having sex with them. All of that said meeting people or picking up people is a very important part of the dating process and PUAs have mastered that. The term pick up line comes from their instruction. So here five things that everybody no matter what race, male or female, gay or straight and even old and young people should learn what PUAs are taught.
1. Good pick up lines or what I like to call openers. PUAs know who to say things which create instant intrigue while not being offensive or to giving. PUAs learn how to say things which slightly complement or are capable of being considered a backhand complements. I use lines which show off my historical, culture or American geographic knowledge. I even use humor. PUAs learn how to says things which get you to be interested in what they know a lot about.
2. PUAs learn a variety of approaches. They develop approaches for the different formations of people and they have terms for these various formations. Are they sitting by themselves or in a group of other people? Yes, it does make a difference. Someone sitting by themselves is easier than a person sitting with a group. Some people back away but PUAs allow for no excuses. Cockblockers: Are people who stand in the way of you talking to the person you are want to talk to.
Hot babe: This is a girl who is much more attractive than the other girls sitting with her. She is an obvious choice and the girls sitting with her expect for her to get all the attention.
Obstacle: This is a person (male or female) who is someone you will have to go through to talk to you target. This person is not a cockblocker. An obstacle can join in the conversation and help you meet your target
Target: This is the term for the person you are interested in.
These terms help PUAs improve their ability of meeting the people they want to meet no matter what kind of people formation they are in.
3. PUAs study meeting people so well they know how to manipulate the people they are interested in. They study how to tell if they are cultivating interest. Some of the terms they use to isolate the person and get them into a one on one conversation. Some of these techniques include.
The Routine, a regular story they use all the time.
NEG an accidental insult which is used on beautiful woman to show her that the PUA is not overwhelmed with her appearance.
IOI is an indication of interest.
4. PUAs know how to deal with rejection. They have specific ways of handling getting dissed. They have terms for women who reject their advances which help them document and adjust their behavior for the next potential date. They use these terms to categorize women that lose interest in them.
The Blur: This is when a woman whom the PUA was communicating with suddenly stops communicating. Stops texting or Instant messaging or calling. There different causes for this kind of rejection than one where you don’t even get the correct phone number.
The Fake: This is when a woman doesn’t show up or call to cancel a date.
LBJF: This is short for “Let’s just be friends.” LBJF is a term for when a woman makes a statement during a date or conversation which indicates that she is not interested in a sexual relationship.
One ITIS: This is when a guy has too much lust for a girl. This is an important feeling for people to recognize. When you are shot out over someone your behavior is extremely compromised when you pick up on it you can adjust it.
5. They know how to market themselves. PUAs study and strategically coordinate their attire. Getting dressed is something most people know how to do but for nerds it is something they have to learn how to do. They use a fashion style called Peacocking. Peacocking is when they dress over the top in a way that will get them more attention than other people in a particular venue. It’s the same thing musical artist do. You see singers like Lady Gaga do this all the time. Now you don’t have to be as extreme as Lady Gaga but even if it is a simple as wearing a hat like Neyo or doing something unique is a good idea. Just try not to be so unique that you look weird.
Pick up people or meeting people is an aspect of dating which are brought to the extreme by PUAs but in modification and in theory these concepts are useful