Everybody has insecurities. From feeling too fat or thin, too short or tall, people’s supposed imperfections run the gamut. But being nitpicky and not accepting and loving yourself because of perceived flaws can cause damage.

Feeling insecure and lacking confidence can lead to trust issues, shyness, aggression, arrogance and even social withdrawal. But stop judging, blaming and resenting yourself. Perfection is an illusion.

This is what Kathleen McIntire, author of Guiding Signs 101, learned after she had an “aha!” moment. McIntire recognized that she was wasting energy by struggling to be better. “I realized that, according to the law of physics, energy cannot be made into more or less…no one can ever be more than what they are,” she says.

That’s when McIntire decided to stop trying to mold herself into someone else. “In that moment, I saw that I was perfect just the way I was and I didn’t have to be better or different.”

The takeaway from McIntire’s experience couldn’t be simpler: Be who you are, focus on your blessings and embrace yourself without reservation, imperfections and all.