Why I Like Speed Dating
Speed Dating was created in1998 by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo to help Jewish singles find other Jewish singles. Since it’s creation Speed Dating has blossomed to become a popular activity of all types of Americans. Speed Dating events are held a business conferences as networking programs. They are also coordinated at comic book conventions and other programs with niche tastes. In 2010 I hosted Miami’s first Gay Speed Dating which was sponsored by Empower U. We held the speed dating to allow gay men and opportunity to meet outside of the sexually charged night club environment. What I think is so hot about Speed Datings held at special events is that it evens out the odds. What I mean by that is at you basic convention, like say the Congressional Black Caucus there are always a lot of singles. These singles crowd the hotel bars and do their best to mix and mingle without ruining their political futures. This risk combined with the normal pressure of approaching someone you are interested in practically prevents good people from connecting. The only people who connect with people are the gold diggers and players who are well versed at picking up people. Convention held Speed Datings allow people to meet people they normally wouldn’t meet.
When I coordinate Speed Dating programs I use my book 20 Soul Questions for a better relationship. Even though I wrote (along with my wife) it in 2003 to be used as a pre-marital counseling resource book it makes an even better Speed Dating book. My book is full of all types of questions people ask to learn about one another and in a speed dating programs it helps participants get past the basic questions. Questions like “what do you do for a living” and “what happen to your last relationship” get boring after a few rounds of seed dating. While the basic questions are important questions to ask people participants often fail to think of other questions during their 5 minute speed date. Just like first dates speed dates are better when you plan for them. To help people plan for participating in a speed dating I have put some simple things to keep in mind.Yo Jeff’s tips on Speed Dating
1. Don’t hold back. Speed dates have the easiest form of rejection because they are quick. In a speed dating event each person makes notes on the people they are interested in. So you won’t find out you got dissed until after the program is over. Since you won’t get dissed in your face you should have no fear of being yourself. I say go for it you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
2. Take it serious. Even though Speed dating events seem simple and not as flashy as scooping someone up onto the dance floor or a suave as copping somebody a drink speed dates are the most efficient way of meeting someone you don’t know anything about. Not even the smoothest player or sexiest chick can meet five to six different people and have a conversation with them in an hour. I always tell people not to joke around at speed dating programs because they are no joke.
3. Be daring. This is a good chance to go on a date with the type of person you wouldn’t normally date. Even at the most unique gathering there will be people present that you would never meet otherwise. I say embrace the nature of the event and release all your normal visual prejudices. Don’t be afraid to talk to somebody who doesn’t look like what you want. Speed dating is a chance for people to let their inside character show.
4. Rehearse! Speed dates are a lot like first dates so practice how you will explain yourself. Rehearse your answers to the questions you would ask of your dates. Practice your answers so they will be clear and concise.
5. Enjoy the moment. Finally have fun. First impressions are not always the only impression. If you feel you got better after a few rounds of speed dating don’t get too upset. Even if you liked the person you met in the first round but you were nervous and feel you messed up your answers chances are they were nervous as well. Look the world is full of nice people so sign up for another speed dating and then you won’t be as nervous.
As always I hope my suggestions helped and either help you at a speed dating event or motivate you to attend one. Post your comments and email me your questions. Coachyojeff@gmail.com. Peace out Yo Jeff.