This is one of the questions I love to give a quick answer to. I just say good people are everywhere and you can meet them in your daily path but in this piece I don’t want to stop there. I want to go a little deep and elaborate on what I mean.

Okay, first let’s narrow our scope more and say where are the good men over 30. Now, lets clarify what a good man is. A good man is, one who is self-supportive. One who has his own place and a car. That is if he doesn’t live in New York City because you can get around without a car so I cut them some slack. A good man may live with one of his parents but he can’t be living off of his parent’s money. Next, if he has children he must not have drama. He should be up to date with child support if he has any. He should be intelligent and or worldly. He can be a little thuggish or a hustler/entrepreneur type but not too much. He should be nice looking or at least in healthy shape. Now, that’s it I don’t want to cater to the shallow chicks too much. Height, how much money he makes and swagger are a little to specific and unimportant.

So, now we have a good description of want a good man is. Now, we need to start indentifying some places where men like this can be found. The first thing you need to do is to use their likes and needs to see where we can run into one of them. A healthy guy over 30, working, who is intellectual. Well, they won’t be in the night club every night looking for a girl. If one of them is in a night club they would be very hard to find. Plus nice guys don’t always have “looking for a girl” on their minds. If they do they would have found someone. The good men we’re looking for will be doing something progressive. To find these nice guys you will have to think like they do. There are nice guys over 30 but in my years of working with single men I have learned that they are not always in the obvious places. Also, they are not as aggressive as men who are not so good are. A good man isn’t a ladies man. Ladies men date a lot of women hence the plural ladies. Ladies are very charismatic and confident. Good men can also be charismatic and confident but they don’t always show it off. Some times their lack of in your face confidence makes them appear less strong but on the contrary they are just as capable of leading a household as the smooth talking Alpha males. The nice guys who make it to being single into their 30s and 40s are not left over’s they are more like left outs or over lookeds.

So, now back to where they are. They are mostly at work. They are more likely to have a hobby than go out picking up chicks. They work out but not for shaping sexy muscles they exercise more for fun. Like bike riding. They go to the movies but not date movies, more like Sci-fi movies. They read and not just magazine and how to make money books. Nice guys read fiction. Biographies and fantasy books. Like Game of Thrones and Dreams from my father by Barack Obama. They watch TV but not just sports and news. They watch travel shows and History channel programs. They do go out and socialize but they aren’t the will buy a lady a drink. They will be the guy who’s really interested in what the event or program is about. God men do go to church but they are easy to find there because they are working in a program and the pastor is pointing them out to every single women in the congregation. Good men enjoy life so they do things that exploit the world we live in. Sporting events, Arts programs and they travel. When they travel they don’t just stay at the resort, they go on the excursions to see the country. Good men do family events and take care of their parents. Not so much that they a become momma’s boys but they are often mistaken for one. Good men have friends but their better friends are other nice guys. However, many of their friends are married.

I hope this gives you a little better idea as to how to find these elusive “Good Men.” Remember the older the man the harder he is to snag. When you find one you will most likely have to approach him. And when you do, don’t lead with sexual innuendos and undertones because it would cheapen you in his eyes. You should lead with a relative question or comment. Simply introducing yourself is fine. He would be more interested in the conversation that follows than the salutation. So be ready to talk wherever you go. Know where you are and why you are there because it will be the easiest subject for conversation. Good luck and have fun. Go out to those tech expos, lectures and parks with your eyes open like your in a night club.