Over the summer I saw a TV ONE special where they talked about the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident. The television show brought out a fact that I didn’t hear on the Oprah show. TV ONE reported that Rihanna had hit Chris first and possibly more than once. That made me think of my past experiences getting hit by women and how different I reacted. I wanted to check my reaction and see how other men would respond. So I posed the question “what should a man or boy do when hit by a woman or girl?” I was surprised with the responses I got. Most people did not know what they would do or what they should tell their boys to do. Some men even said hit them back. One of my female friends said the thought had never occurred to her even though she has a 3 year old son. She said since she was a victim of domestic abuse all she teaches her son to do is never to hit a woman. Another one of my male respondents told me they themselves were a victim of domestic abuse and no one believed him, people thought he was joking. I always say that Jennifer Lopez’s movie “Enough” was a serious story about domestic abuse while Eddie Murphy’s Norbit was a comedy. To me that’s how people think. Even when Rihanna was on Oprah talking about her battery a high school girl commented that some girls hit boys. Her comment was ignored.

Well as a victim of female battery I felt I had to say something. In my situation I was picked on by a larger girl in the fifth grade. I was a small child and even now I’m only five feet seven inches. I never hit her back because basically I might have lost so I employed a variety of other things. I don’t know why I didn’t tell the teachers maybe I was embarrassed. Either way I remember it as being a difficult situation. I don’t know why people think women don’t hit men. I remember in middle school in the early eighties there was an all girl gang called the Break out girls in Hackensack, NJ. These girls were feared because they didn’t just beat up girls they beat up boys too!

While I believe Chris Brown has anger issues I also know some women know how to push buttons on even the nicest guys. To help nice guys from doing something that will change their lives forever and ruin a musical career like it did to Chris Brown I decided to come up with a list of things men can do if they get hit, punched, slapped or anything else by a girl or woman.

1. Run, get away. This is the best thing to do because it gets you away from the situation. If you act fast people may forget you were hit in the first place.
2. Block the blows but DON’T GRAB. If you can’t run do your best to protect yourself. If you think a women can’t hurt you think again. If you sit there and let them hit you then if a blow does hurt you it may cause you to react rather than act.
3. Do not taunt. Taunting is fun but it causes a person to get more angry and a girl may pick up a weapon if their punches aren’t having and effect.
4. End you relationship. This should go without saying but abused men are just like abused women in that they think the person abusing them will change. I tell men just like I tell women that if they abuse you once they will do it again.
5. Try to endure until you get to a safe place to separate yourself. Again if cannot run and your in a car like Chris Brown and Rihanna meditate. Make up your mind about getting away when your in a safe public place. No matter what they say or do tune them out because NO ONE will believe you were hit first if you partake in a fight with them.
6. Understand that men can be abused and you are not alone. Yes there is such a thing as male abuse. In 100 domestic violence situations approximately 40 cases involve violence by women against men. An estimated 400,000 women per year are abused or treated violently in the United States by their spouse or intimate partner. This means that roughly 300,000 to 400,000 men are treated violently by their wife or girl friend. For more information see www.dvmen.org According to a University of Pennsylvania emergency room where their report found 13% of men reported being assaulted by a female partner in the previous 12 months, of which 50% were choked, kicked, bitten, punched, or had an object thrown at them, 37% involved a weapon, and 14% required medical attention, at Academic of Emergency Medicine
7. Make a joke of the blow and start laughing. This is my answer for just about everything. Comedy is the best defense. When you laugh at something that somebody does to you it can make them more angry so mindful. You may still have to separate yourself.

As always please hit me up coachyojeff@gmail.com I expect this to be a very controversial post.