Imagine that you walk into a room full of attractive singles who are wearing masks at a masquerade ball. As you dance with your chosen partner, he or she seems wonderful, and just your type. But, then, when the night is over, and the mask comes off, you realize that this “wonderful” person wasn’t nearly as compatible with you as you thought. You are disappointed and wonder how this could happen. That is the real life “Dating Masquerade”--where singles meet people who appear one way, and then turn out to be something entirely different (incompatible).

The good news is that there is now a scientific way to identify a compatible partner based on Jungian/Myers-Briggs personality types. I call this approach, LoveTypes, because you identify the romantic style of the person most likely to be compatible with you in a long-term relationship.

The 4 Magic Questions that you can ask potential dating partners are:

1. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

THEY ARE EXTRAVERT (E) IF: THEY like to spend a lot of time socializing with friends or doing things with people in the outside world.

THEY ARE INTROVERT (I) IF: THEY enjoy spending more time alone or with a few close friends--reading, writing, thinking, meditating, and listening to music

LOVETYPE FACT: EXTRAVERT WOMEN WITH INTROVERT MEN HAVE THE MOST PROBLEMS IN CHORES, COMMUNICATION, FINANCES, SPARE TIME, AND SEX.

2. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WON $10 MILLION?

THEY ARE SENSORY (S)/PRACTICAL IF:THEY would use the money to buy a house, invest, travel, and enjoy the sensory pleasures of life (fine wine, dining, etc.). They are realistic, concrete, down-to earth, and sensual.

THEY ARE INTUITIVE (N)/IMAGINATIVE IF: THEY would use the money to invest in a grand venture, plan, invention, or scheme to change the world or make a difference. They live by your intuition and imagination.

LOVETYPE FACT: RESEARCH SHOWS THAT 70% OF HAPPILY MARRIED COUPLES ARE THE SAME OR SIMILAR ON THIS DIMENSION: EITHER BOTH SENSORY OR BOTH INTUITIVE. WHEN THEY ARE SIMILAR, THEY HAVE BETTER COMMUNICATION AND SHARE SIMILAR VALUES AND LIFE GOALS.

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE, AND WHY DO YOU LIKE IT?

THEY’RE A FEELER (F) IF: THEY LOVED THE MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE WAY IT MADE YOU FEEL--THE RELATIONSHIPS, THE INSPIRATION BEHIND IT.

THEY’RE A THINKER (T) IF: THEY ENJOYED THE TECHNICAL ASPECTS OF THE MOVIE, THE WAY IT WAS MADE, THE ACTING, PLOT, SPECIAL EFFECTS, THE WAY IT MADE YOU THINK.

LOVETYPE FACT: 2/3 OF MEN ARE THINKERS; 2/3 OF WOMEN ARE FEELERS. IN THIS DIMENSION, ANY COMBINATION CAN WORK (even MALE FEELERS WITH FEMALE THINKERS) AS LONG AS THEY SPEAK IN EACH OTHER’S LANGUAGE (THINKERS ARE MORE DIRECT, TO THE POINT; FEELERS VALUE THE HARMONY OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND DON’T WANT TO HURT PEOPLE’S FEELINGS).

4. I HAVE 2 TICKETS TO VEGAS, AND I’M INVITING YOU TOMMOROW, A WORK DAY, WOULD YOU GO?

THEY’RE SPONTANEOUS/PERCEIVER (P) IF YOU SAY: “HECK, YEAH, MY BAGS ARE PACKED.”

THEY’RE STRUCTURED/JUDGERS (J) IF YOU SAY: “No,” or “I have to plan it out.”

LOVETYPE FACT: A LOT OF DIVORCES OCCUR WHEN A PERCEIVER AND A JUDGER DON’T RESPECT EACH OTHER’S STYLE. THEY ARGUE OVER ORGANIZATION, BEING ON TIME, PLANNING THINGS OUT, MONEY, AND SEX. IT CAN BE A NIGHTMARE.

To have a happy relationship, you are better off finding someone who is similar to you on the key dimensions (especially Intuition/Practical). If you are different, the key is to learn how to respect your partner’s style.

If you are in in the Los Angeles area tommorow, Saturday, 4/11/15 at 5:00PM, you are invited to come to a real-life social mixer called “The Dating Masquerade” at St. Felix in Hollywood (on Cahuenga). It is a Free event where you will wear a mask and have an opportunity to meet a compatible partner based on your personality type.

It’s a lot of fun. Hope to see you there. You can register online at http://www.meetup.com/DISCOVER-YOUR-SOUL-MATE-AT-THE-DATING-MASQUERADE..

It’s your turn now: Ask the 4 Magic Questions and Get Ready for The Dating Masquerade!

Dr. Avila