This is a blog especially for my blog family. As some of you may not know, but before I became a promoter and a filmmaker I started my hip hop career as a DJ. I still like a DJ at my core now. That said I believe that music effects us differently than film and books. I chose to list hip hop songs which influenced out behavior because there are not enough hip hop films first of all and even though hip hop books are classified as Streetlit the only book that has had any kind of effect was The Coldest Winter Ever. Before that the only book to have an effect on the hip hop community was Iceberg Slim’s PIMP. So therefore I decided to compile a list of hip hop songs which have influenced our dating and overall male/female relationships. It has been a subject I have been trying to right for over a year but I could never figure out how I wanted to put it to together. The first thing I wanted to do was to narrow it down to 10 but I couldn’t figure out how to determine it. Would it be by sells? No because I think a lot of these records impact was not something that sells could determine. I also wanted to balance the list with positive affecting songs with negatively affecting songs but that would be reaching. One thing I found out was the number of negative songs was a lot larger than the positive songs. This does make sense because I think everyone would agree that the state of our relationships is more negative than positive. Even though I am being very subjective I couldn’t think of more positive songs. So this list is not the ten most influential songs it is just a list of influential songs. These are songs that shaped how we get down.

Before the Trey Songz “Say Ah” the hidden oral sex song, the bisexual anthem song by Katy Perry “I Kissed a girl” and Enrique Iglesias “Tonight I’m Fucking you” (the radio version says “Loving” instead of “fucking”) there were songs that influenced us. These songs effected people we chose to date as well as what we did with them sexually. Here is my list Title, artist, year and my take.Salt N Peppa’s song “Let’s Talk about Sex” released in 1991.
I love the message in this song. It really shows the power of music. Whoever said music or hip hop only influences people to do negative things was wrong. Salt N Peppa did sexually suggestive songs like “Push it” but Let’s Talk about Sex made people actually talk about sex. They cleared up all the confusion. Love was a separate conversation for sex. People to this day still confuse love with sex. I think sex is important enough for couples to talk about. The best sex is mutually agreed upon before the Barry White music comes on. I like to be clear on the evening’s agenda. I’m no date rapper so confusion around sex always left me with blue balls. Thanks to this song my stressful nights were over.

Brand Nubian’s song “Slow down” released in 1990
Man this song was hot. I played it for my son and he even likes it. Why its not still being played on the radio now I have no idea. This song was influential because it was some cool guys giving a girl advice to stop sleeping around so much. Most messages are minding their own business. Let the girl do what she wants or you can’t change them type of messages but Brand Nubian said nawh we can give them advice and they can chage. I’m pretty sure a lot of hip hoppers slowed down after they listen to this record.

KRS-One’s song “Jimmy” released in 1988
Come on! “The J, the I, the M, the M, the Y, it’s Jimmy.” This was the first song to sing about wearing a condom. Not just safe sex but about a condom. I remember it all too well. I had condoms taped to my wall in my dorm room. One of my friends made an illustration of a singing condom and we taped it to our refrigerator. This song not influenced fans it influenced other artists. The Jungle Brothers did a song where they mentioned Jimmy Hats.

Kool Moe Dee’s song “Go see the Doctor” 1886
This is some old school right here baby. Moe Dee! “Three days later goes see the doctor.” Nothing more scarier than getting and STD. This song scared the hell out of me. “Drip, drip, drip and puss, puss, pussing.” Ill! Man these lyrics worked for me. I remember walking the hallways of my high school seeing “three days later, go see the doctor.” This song drove home the fear and respect of STDs that my health teacher just wasn’t capable of. Moe Dee was the best rapper at the time and for him to sing about getting burned was powerful.

LL Cool J “I need love” 1987 and “I need an around the way girl” 1990.
Even though I wasn’t a big Cool J fan I have to respect the lover. LL wrote a rap love song that worked. Not a song about being in love but a song asking for it. Maybe that’s why he got the girls. I should have followed his lead. I liked his “Around the way girl” message better. An around the way girl was everywhere! She was regular. These type of girls could be found walking down the street, at the mall in the grocery store. That was me. I think LL made a lot of people think about the people they start relationships with and relationships in general. Go on Mr. Cool J.

Tupac’s song “Brenda’s got a baby” 1991
This was one of Tupac’s first songs to blow up. This song about a teenage mom and all of her responsibilities was powerful. His message was so clear and accurate that it should be the anthem for every teenage pregnancy prevention program today. Tupac later made “I get around” and showed true Gemini skills by being able relate to both sides of a subject. Because of this ability Tupac’s overall image is confusing but the messages in his songs aren’t.

Whodini’s song “One Love” 1986
Maybe these guys were hip hop’s first metaphysical rappers. This song sang of a spiritual reality. “You lucky just to have just one love.” Wow. I disagree with the concept of a soul mate for everyone however this song certainly made people think about the people they said “love” to. Love is a serious word and this song illustrated it. I don’t even think people thought about the message right away because the beat and the chorus was fun. However, people enjoyed it so much they heard it enough times for the message to reach them.

Naughty by Nature’s song “O.P.P.” 1991
Other People’s Property you wit it? A damn song about being with a cheater. Sleeping with people who are in relationships. Wow go hip hop. This song is a classic. Everybody sang you down with OPP so much you would have thought that people were cheating but it takes a lot of nerve to knowing “sleep” with someone in a relationship. Sung by Treach and Vin Roc two tough rappers from New Jersey you wouldn’t expect to sing about coveting thy neighbor’s wife.

Akinyele’s song “Put it in your Mouth” 1996
Who doesn’t like a good ole blow job? Come on the good old Bill and Monica. Put it in your mouth is a lot different than “pull up to the bumper” like Grace Jones wanted. A hip hop oral sex song. This was a new low for hip hop. While always being blamed for singing about sex this song became such a hit that it couldn’t be denied. Every girl wanted to have a penis in their mouths now. This song made it cool.

2 Live Crew’s song “Me so horny”, 1989
This was the beginning of the hip hop freak songs. The was an expansion for hip hop being from a group from Miami. See it would be so bad if it was so good. Hip hoppers had always made songs like these but they didn’t make them with the intentions to have them played on the radio. 2 Live crew was so dedicated on making sex songs that’s all they did. Who could blame them for having sex on their minds all the time hell they lived in beach city.

Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Kurupt, Warren G’s song “Ain’t no fun” (If The Homies Can’t Have None) 1993
“You licked my baaa-aaaallls!” is all the words anybody knew to this song. I didn’t even know the name of the song. I had to google licked my balls just to find information on this song. This song is about four guys having a sexual rondevu with the same girl (or could be) was so loved that DJs everywhere turned the music down so the everyone in the club could sing the certain parts. I don’t even know if this song did anything more than get everyone to say “lick” and “balls” but that’s enough to get the freaky sex party started with a couple on the dance floor.

Uncle Luke’s song “I wanna rock, Doo Doo Brown”, 1992
Here we go this song put Luke’s traveling strip show on the road. I mean there were titty bars in every city but not booty bars. So Luke taking this show with Black women shaking their big butts was revolutionary. This song single handily changed the environment of the dance floor. It was like ten times the power of putting on a slow record. Let me explain. Okay back in the 80’s dancing with a girl was like musical chairs because at any moment the DJ could slow things down and put on a slow jam. Once the slow jams came on the girl you were dancing with had a choice. Either to leave you on the floor or continue dancing with you and let you rub up on them. Now Doo Doo Brown did the same thing but it was a faster record and so good that girls didn’t have a chance to leave the dance floor. Matter of fact girls who weren’t already on the dance floor ran on the floor. They didn’t slow grind either. Doo Doo Brown required butt banging. Man this type of dancing is common and not every girl likes to back their asses up but back when Doo Doo Brown came out everybody participated.

NWA song’s “She Swallowed it”, MC Ren and “I’d rather Fuck you” 1991
Now this wasn’t a club banger this was more of a listening record or a blasting out of your car song. No matter what it was popular as hell. This was off of NWA’s second album and they were known to push the lyrics. With brutally honest songs about robbing people and LA lifestyle this song was just as eye opening. The universal appeal of all of NWA’s songs was epitomized by these songs. Guys (not everyone) loved to talk about the things they did with the girls they had sex with and this song “She Swallowed it” was taking it to the largest level on wax where it could be played in night clubs all over. I also put MC Ren’s song from the album on my list because every guy experienced going out with a girl and her friends. Factor in the girl your with isn’t the friendliest and she isn’t the hottest girl in her crew. Those are very uncomfortable situations and some guys turn into jerks by acting on their feelings while other guys just sing Ren’s lyrics in their head.

Tribe Called Quest’s song “Bonita Applebum”, 1990
“Bonita Applebum you gotta put me on,” was the chorus to this influential song. What made this record so cool was it had an authentic feel. Not that all of these other songs didn’t but Tribe was a regular group. They weren’t thugs or tough guys. They approached this song like a guy in a classroom who doesn’t get all the girls. The chorus “you gotta put me on” who says that? It’s like they were begging this chick. Wow. If it was cool to beg a chick then everybody could do it. We thought we had to pull a girl by getting them interested in us without saying please. Good song though. Check for the documentary on Tribe Called Quest later this year in selective theaters.

Biz Markie’s song “The Vapors”, 1988
“She caught the vapors,” this was the hook for one of Biz Mark’s most popular sayings. Biz Markie’s hooks are always singable. From “Nobody beats the biz” to “You got what need” to this one “the vapors.” The Vapors became the slang phase for saying a girl changed her opinion of a guy after he started making more money. This was calling out a gold digger on a large scale. Hip hop is a cool mutha and putting a chick on blast with a nursery type song is messed up for a girl. However most of the time guys said a girl caught the vapors behind her back and not to her face.

Slick Rick’s song “Treat her like a prostitute” 1988
This song seems so uncharacteristic of Slick Rick. Man he is on the clean rapper poster (if there ever was such a thing). “Don’t treat no girlie well until your sure of the scoop.” Even though I’m writing this I still can’t believe Slick Rick Mr. Ladidadi made a song like this. Now let me explain what he means. In the song he tells stories of women cheating on their men, lying about the father of their children and having so many sexual partners that they forget to remove the contraceptives from their vaginas. Man he really put fowl women on blast. Having done it on a record gave men a song to sing about. I mean we songs that diss men all the time. Remember “Pappa was a rolling Stone” well this is sort of the same. This song made some guys look over the shoulder of the woman they were dating. If all men were dogs they weren’t the only ones and I guess this was the whole point of Slick making the record.

Apache’s song “Gangsta Bitch” was the chorus “I wanna gangsta bitch” 1991
I still can’t believe the message in this song was real. I mean if you read all of the lyrics Apache says some funny things in the song. What I think happen with this song is the same thing that happen to a lot of other songs. This didn’t just happen to just the hip hop songs. Sometimes people enjoy the concept of the song and don’t fully agree with every word in it. I mean show wants a salad eating chick? That was what Eddie Murphy joked about in stand up. A gangsta bitch was the opposite. Slightly the opposite of a weak woman but not too strong of a women or else she would be a dyke or butch. Apache just spoke up for strong women. Yeah that’s it. This is a female empowering song. BS it is what it is a crazy message that effected everybody. Welcome to my list Apache. Even MC Lyte followed by making a song called “I want a Ruffneck,” and I think she’s still single today.

Lil Wayne’s song “Lollipop” 2008
Okay I’ll say it I maybe wrong with this song because I’m not a Lil Wayne expert. Now this song sings about oral sex so casually that I still don’t think most girls know what lil Wayne is referring to but guys do. I guess these little girls who sing along with the song in the club won’t fully understand what it’s about until a penis is in front of their face. And that is sad.

Jamie Foxx’s song “Blame it” and “Blame it on the Alcohol” was the chorus 2009
Now I use this song in my workshops. If guys are stupid enough to think they can get a girl so drunk they can have sex with her and then when questioned shift the blame onto the alcohol I give up. There is an easy four letter word which describes this action and that is R. A. P. E.! Sexual assault to the fullest. I know it’s tricky because alcohol helps people relax and you want to be relaxed before you have sex with them but if you do something with them that they don’t like you can’t blame it on what they drank. If a girl is drunk or wasted it doesn’t give men the right to sleep with them. Out of all the sexually influential songs I think this is the most dangerous because it will get people locked up if they believe it.

Bonus song played in Hip Hop clubs but was house music song.

Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam’s song “I wonder if I take you home” 1985
This is my favorite song. It was long before I became a date coach. I liked the message of thinking before you go to someone’s house with them. I love premeditative sex. It is the bomb. Who wants to always have get someone in the mood for sex? That is a pain in the behind. I want them to know what’s on the agenda before they come up to my dorm room or my house. God forbid I get a hotel room and the girl still doesn’t know what’s up. Don’t get me wrong a woman has the right to say no at any point but it doesn’t mean I have to go out with them if they are indecisive. Plus it takes away the romance if you have to ask them specifically about sex. I want a Lisa Lisa girl who is already thinking about what I want before she agrees to come back with me. Plus the beat is banging. I love this song. I’m going to play this song on my mp3 player right now.

This list is according to me so if you would like to post a song you think is influential please do. To read lyrics for these songs check out