As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people’s thoughts turn to love and romance. Some people look forward to Valentine’s Day because they can celebrate the love they share with their special soul mate. Others hate Valentine’s Day because they still haven’t found their soul mate, despite all of their efforts. Regardless of whether you love or hate Valentine’s (or feel something in between), there are 3 secrets you should know for having a great Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re single.

1. BE YOUR OWN SOUL MATE: This rule is simple: To have a great soul mate, you must first be a great soul mate--to yourself. You need to love and appreciate your unique romantic personality style--which I call your LoveType. We are all born with certain gifts or talents, also known as Dons. Your Don is your natural universe-given ability to help yourself and humanity. Part of our Don is our unique personality. The problem is that many of us don’t fully embrace and respect our unique natures--we internally criticize ourselves for not being like other people. Some of us are more emotional, others are more logical. Some of us are more quiet or Introverted; others are more outgoing/Extraverted. Neither personality style is better or worse than the other. They are simply different and hold their unique advantages. The secret to our happiness and ability to love is to fully embrace our unique personality nature or style--to love ourselves as we are. Once we love ourselves as we truly are, then, and only then, can we love another.

2. FIND PEOPLE WHO NATURALLY RESONATE WITH YOUR STYLE: Another mistake that love seekers make is that they choose partners who don’t match their own unique romantic style or LoveType. They choose lovers who seem superficially appealing and attractive, but who are not compatible with their innermost values, preferences and missions. We need to look behind the pleasant masks that people wear and discover their true personalities--whether they are truly compatible with us. Most research shows that people who are similar in their core values and beliefs have happier long-term relationships. You don’t have to be exactly like your mate, but it’s important that you share important traits. One key is to determine which of the four LoveTemperament Groups you and a prospective partner fall into. Ideally, you want to be in the same category as your partner because it makes life so much easier.

Here are the Four LoveTemperament Groups:

NF--Intuitive Feelers: Meaning Seekers: You have a desire for finding the meaning in life; you have a strong interest in psychology, spirituality, science, the arts, and creating possibilities.

NT--Intuitive Thinkers: Knowledge Seekers: You value logic, stimulating debate, intelligence, competence, and continual growth in your relationships.

SP--Sensing Perceivers: Excitement Seekers: You value fun, excitement, adventure, and spontaneity in every aspect of your life, especially in your relationships.

SJ--Sensing Judgers: Security Seeker: You value tradition, loyalty, security, and structure in your relationships. You like enjoying the concrete pleasures of life, while also planning for the future.

HOT TIP: Determine which category you fall into, and then start joining groups and making friends with like-minded people. One of those new friends may just become your soul mate.

3. EXTEND LOVING ENERGY WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS: Once you love who you are and know the type of person who is most compatible with you, your last step is to meet that special individual. The key to this last secret is to break the ice and meet new people with positive (loving) energy--without expecting anything in return. Smile at the waiter, say hello to a stranger or remote acquaintance, pay someone a compliment. You don’t do it to impress, win favor, or get a date, but simply to extend your positive love energy--to express your uniqueness as a human being. This secret is especially helpful for those who are shy (fear being rejected) or Introverted (have limited social energy) because it takes away the burden of having to make a good first impression. All you have to do is spread a positive loving energy to the world, and eventually that energy will be returned back to you by someone who is truly your perfect match--your one and only soul mate.

Happy Valentine’s to you. I would like to offer you a special Free gift--loving energy--to help you find your soul mate. Be my guest at my upcoming Los Angeles talk/mixer on 2/17/13 at 6:00PM. You will have a chance to meet great people and possibly find your soul mate. You can sign up FREE at Find your Soul Mate at The Dating Masquerade: