When to ask HIM or HER to marry you.

Recently a new colleague of mine asked me an interesting question. She asked “how do I know if my boyfriend is ready to go to the next level?” This question is a pretty good one for me because I do advocate women asking men the big question. I even think it is okay for women to ask men to date them. When dating feels like pre-engagement chances are you are serious about the person you are dating and it may be time to take your relationship to the next level. Catching feelings are inevitable unless you are a prostitute and still think they can connect to a repeat customer. This is one of the reasons why I don’t play the friends with benefits game or just sex partners. Somebody always gets their feelings hurt at the end. High school kids and adults both thing they can control their feelings only to find out after someone is crying or eating chocolate ice cream that they were wrong.

Now to the answer of this question when should you ask somebody to marry you? Well to me the answer is not a simple list of tips. There are a few factors to consider. To make it easy I have made a Big Question Test. Answer these simple questions to figure out if it is time to make that proposal.

1. Why are you dating?
1 points. Start or continue a family.
2 points. Companionship.
3 points. Because you like them and they are hot.

2. What do you think the person you are dating is looking for?
1 points. Someone to live their lives with.
2 points. No real reason.
3 points. A safe sex partner.

3. How long have you been dating them?
1 points. No more than 3 years.
2 points. Less than a month.
3 points. 5 or more years.

4. What are the things you’ve done together?
1 points. Children and family outings and family events.
2 points. Dates out in public, dinner, movies and lots of one on one stuff.
3 points. Nowhere just each other’s apartments and few dinner dates.

5. What is the person’s dating history? Are they long term daters?
1 points. Had good experiences no red flags and they are optimistic.
2 points. Don’t really know much about it.
3 points. Did something that caused their last relationship to end.

6. You have high respect for the person you are dating but not so high that it overshadows your sexual attraction them?
1 points. Doesn’t just have sex with you. Talks about Politics and ask for advice on family issues.
2 points. Doesn’t talk about deep stuff but talk about sports and entertainment.
3 points. Just talks about sexual and relationship stuff but no talking about work or family.

7. Worse case scenario, what could go wrong?
1 points. Nothing.
2 points. May continue dating.
3 points. You’ll break up, give up on dating and be very upset.

8. Why do you get along so well?
1 points. You have been friends for years. Before you were in your last relationship.
2 points. You just click, finish each other’s sentences.
3 points. Its a man woman thing. Sex is so good you can’t keep hands off each other.

9. The Children factor.
1 points. They don’t have any or you get along with the ones they have.
2 points. You’ve met their children but haven’t really hung out with them.
3 points. Doesn’t want to bring you around them because their children don’t want them to date.

10. The friends factor.
1 points. They love you and want you around them all of the time and brings you with them to hang out with their friends.
2 points. He doesn’t hang out with friends or you’ve only been around their friends a few times.
3 points. You clash with their friends and they don’t like you.

Now here’s how you score your answers to get your final answer.
10-15 It’s safe to proceed to ask the question about advancing the relationship.
16-23 Continue dating.
24-30 Time to re-evaluate your relationship or end the relationship all together.