Green Dating is my way of showing people how they can be respectful of the environment while they are dating. Being green is when you respect the environment and leave it better than it was before you used it. So since I thought of a way you can use dating to respect the “dating” environment. You don’t need to do a documentary to find out how frustrating the world of dating is. People get so frustrated they look for ways to not date. Some people just stop dating all together. The sad thing about the world of dating is that the stress experienced during dating is caused by us. There’s no alien or natural disaster that is to blame for the frustration. So, I’ve compiled five steps which will help guide people in a way of dating where they will not hurt or mess over the people they are dating. My green dating technique will show people how to leave the people they date with the same feelings toward dating or with a better feeling toward dating than the people they dated had before they dated them. Breaking up with someone or being broken up with are not always the easiest things to do. Often couples drive themselves crazy and start to dislike each other before they decide to break up. Green Dating is able to reverse this problem. Just because people learn that they are not right for each other while dating doesn’t not mean they have to be enemies. I am living proof. I have never had my car keyed or my windows broken as a result of a bitter break up. I am friends with as many of my ex-girlfriends as I know how to reach. In fact my girlfriend from college asked my wife and I to be the god parents to her first child. What made this possible is what I call Green Dating. My Green Dating technique uses a specific combination of my Hip Hop Dating Codes, Playa Hater List and my Hip Hop Dating Contract. So now I will explain my 5 steps to Green Dating.

First step is to Balance your Attraction. This is one of my favorite Hip Hop Dating Codes. It is important to start a Green relationship with a balance of attractions. When you are equally attracted to someone personally as you are physically you are able to have stronger bond. Dating someone who has big boobies or a phat ass which you like but has a personality you hate is like a cancer. Or dating someone who provides you with the financial lifestyle of your dreams but not the partnership you love. When people in the 50s talked about finding a good provider they weren’t talking about a person who is just a financial provider, they were talking about an all around provider. Allowing yourself to get involved with someone you do not have a balanced attraction to is a big mistake. So shed all of your shallowness and don’t be stoooopid.

Second step is to Define your relationship before having sex. I suggest many things in my Hip Hop Codes and my Playa Hater List but defining your relationship is one suggestion which is on both lists. Dating is the process used to find a life partner but it can also be used to find a sex partner. Defining your relationship before sex protects both you and the person you are dating from getting your feelings hurt. So define your relationship. Tell your partner you are not looking for a serious relationship because you are going to move in two months. Maybe your date doesn’t want to get married right away either. This is why the “why are we dating” conversation is respectful to you and the person you are dating. Avoiding this dialogue is dangerous and an emotional hustle.

Third step is to Not Seduce. There is a thin line between helping a person get in the mood for sex and getting them so drunk all of their inhibitions are gone. I don’t care if you bring Jamie Foxx and Kanye West into the court room with you it is still RAPE. Date rape or subtle influencing someone’s “no” to a “maybe” and then to a weak “yes” is disrespectful. So wait until the person you are dating is equally interested in being sexually intimate with you before you turn on your mojo. I promise sex with a clear head and fully agreed upon is way better than drunk sex.

Fourth step is to communicate on every subject you can. This is a little twist on two of my suggestions from my Player Hater list. You can make it hard for a player to play you if you talk to them about as many subject as you can and communicate with them so often that you feel comfortable talking to them. Now, communication is essential to Green Dating because when you communicate it forces you to be honest and share as much of yourself as you can. People who date you will appreciate this aspect of dating you. Communication is more important than showering a person with gifts and affection. Especially if your date turns into a marriage having a strong base of communication is vital. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers the top cause of divorce is Poor communication. So be Green and make conversation a major part of your dating process.

Fifth step is to Know when to break up. Breaking up or ending a period of dating is as important as beginning a dating relationship. Everyone you have dated is no longer a stranger. And if you were sexually intimate with them then it goes double. Many relationships go on beyond their break up point and end with a bitter, toxic event. People drag themselves through relationships which have long past their magic and become agonizingly torturous because they don’t know when or how to end a relationship. The most important thing to remember when breaking up with somebody is that you don’t have to be enemies (unless your date did something to you more than just turn you off) to end a relationship. Also ending a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or never date again. The only thing breaking up with someone means is that you don’t think at the time you are breaking up that you and the person you are dating can be happy together as a couple and that there is no sense in continuing the relationship.

Many of the steps to Green Dating you will notice benefit the person using them just like with recycling which helps the planet but all of the people on it. Green Dating not only leaves people in a positive state of mind after its over, it improves the dating experience by making it more efficient and that benefits all parties involved. Now keep in mind that just like with Green living Green Dating is not something everybody will do. Green Dating is a mature form of dating; for people who want to soil their oats Green Dating won’t work. However, just like with Green Living in general those who don’t choose to practice eco-friendly behavior cannot complain when we run out of drinking water or they get swept away in a tsunami. Therefore people who don’t date Green cannot complain when they get their feelings hurt or heartbroken. When people ask me “which came first Players or Gold Diggers?” I tell them I really don’t know. I do know one can produce the other. Therefore respectful dating doesn’t produce either.

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