While watching Oprah last Tuesday where she had In Living Color’s former funnyman Jim Carey’s X-girlfriend Playboy model-turned-actress-turned-author Jenny McCarthy on it got me thinking about what I call "Dating Predators". Jenny was promoting her book Love, Lust and Faking it and during her interview she explained what she means by Faking It. How I understood her use of Faking it is when you misrepresent yourself to a person you are dating. Not to be confused with faking enjoyment while having sex she gave the example of being asked by a boyfriend if you would like to watch a football game and you say yes but you would really like to watch Dancing with the Stars. She said this kind if faking it is not good for the person who is misrepresenting themselves. She explained further of how faking it puts you in an unfulfilled relationship with somebody you aren’t compatible with.

While I agree with her about how faking it can not be a good practice for a person trying to find a life partner I am more concerned with how faking it is any different to being a Dating Predator. I define a Dating Predator as a person who poses as the ideal companion of a person they are dating to get something they want without any regard for the feelings of the person they are dating. Most of the times these dating predators don’t give the other person want they want in return and that is the real crime. The most common dating predators are Players who are secretly building a harem of lovers and are bootleg polygamists. There are Gold Diggers who are people (most commonly women) who date people for their money. Lastly there are Pick up artists who are the most dangerous because they want only sex from their victims and risk the spread of disease.

My question is how does faking it affect true and honest people? I mean sure it really hurts to be in a long relationship with a person you’re faking it with but what about the person who is at the other end of your faking it? When you decide to stop faking and end the relationship the person you are dating ends up hurt and God forbid you’ve married them then they may loose half of their money and have to pay child support. I also wonder how a true and honest person can tell the difference between a person who is faking it from a genuine Dating Predator. Jenny said she wanted her book "to remind us to aim higher, believe in true love, and, most of all, be kind to ourselves. And to have lots of fun and sex--without faking it". I feel that for all of you who may not be fakers and don’t want to waste our time and risk getting our feelings hurt should pay as much attention as you can to your dating activities and the take the dating process serious. If you need help avoiding Dating predators email me and I will send you a copy of my Playa Hata List. One easy thing you can do check for a faker is number five on my Playa Hater list. Get to know your partner’s personality and opinions. Talk about as many topics as you can (philosophy, religion, and racism).

Hit me up coachyojeff@gmail.com

Check out this link from my movie for a good laugh about the problems figuring out who is a dating predator.