Dating for Spring Breakers
Vacation and mini vacations like Spring break trips are very risky for STD and AIDS contraction as well as Sexual Assault. According to the Bureau of Justice Special Report on Intimate Partner Violence from May 2000, more than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance. Spring break vacations are where the casual acquaintance lover is the norm. Different from a college campus or your neighborhood most people on a vacation do not know each other. Even the people who people travel are people they barely know. I got into date coaching to help people enjoy dating the way I enjoyed it. That includes summer vacation, destination vacations and spring break mini vacations. I am not sharing advice I learned in a book, my suggestions come from going away to HBCU homecomings, The Philly Greek Picnic, Fourth of July on Virginia Beach and New York’s Jones Beach. When I was starting to travel to these events with my friends here are some of the things I learned along the way;
Spring break tips
1. Pick your traveling friends intelligently. Now I know it’s cheaper to share rooms with people but sharing rooms with people who are trouble is stupid or let me say too risky. You don’t want your room bringing some girls into your room that you don’t know and creep you out telling you I got a girl for you. Or you have a freaky female roommate who brings some extra aggressive guys to your room and they feel she is so easily going to give up sex that you will too. So to help keep yourself away from becoming the victim by association start being selective of the company you keep before you start on your trip.
2. Party in the clubs and not in the street. Police are always looking for people misbehaving in the streets. When you get in a fight or other compromising situations inside a nightclub usually you just get thrown out. But doing the same thing, which would get you escorted out of a nightclub, will get you arrested in the street outside of that club. Not only are police a concern but people in who you may have interactions with in the street are not screened or patted down. This makes the risk of gin violence and other more dangerous types of things more possible.
3. Respect your hotel room If you have parties in your hotel room don’t let them get out of control and limit the amount of people in them. Don’t let people in who nobody in you group invited or knows. Hotel security is not the police so don’t expect them to protect you from the people partying in your room. If your party actually becomes a noise problem for other guests your will be thrown out along with the people you had in your room. Lastly if there damages to the room you and your friends will be charged for the repairs. I know the temptation to throw a room party is high, hotel rooms are not like dorm rooms. Hotels tolerate higher amounts of students during spring break time because they rent a lot of rooms but if you get out of line they have no problem throwing you out. So, respect wherever you stay while on vacation.
4. Park your car and take cabs. Plan B is a designated driver. This is such a good idea you don’t even know. I mean I warned you about contracting an STD but not only can acquiring a disease change your life but, a DUI can as well. Parking your car and taking a cab not only protects you from your own driving problems it also protects you from the other drivers who are partying and drinking. So, let everyone enjoy in the madness you traveled to partake in and scratch the dry driver and take a cab.
5. Try not to have sex during your weekend and definitely not the first night. Wait to hook up with whoever the Tre Songs/Kim Kardashian you attract until the next day. Get the person’s cell number and arrange a daytime date with them. It is possible to learn a lot about someone in a weekend but you do have to pay attention. Making someone wait until the next day knocks out a bunch of the booty bandits but other dating predators you should be able to detect after a few conversations. I say try to not have sex rather than telling people don’t have sex because I have met people on mini vacations who I’ve had sex without contracting a disease. Some of them were people who I knew from high school and haven’t seen in a while but once or twice they were people who I’ve met at the vacation. I like to keep it real with my suggestions and special events are not bad places to meet people. Even at spring breaks true love can find its home but you just have to be mindful of the parameters.
6. Keep you cell phone charged and with you all the time. This is a simple suggestion because even when you are not on vacation and on another kind of trip you should keep your cell phone charged and with you. There are lot of dangerous people in the world and combine that with a location you are not familiar with and that’s a recipe for disaster. So whether it is to text your friends when your ready to leave the club or to call the police, cell phones are necessary travel accessories now-a-days.
7. You can say no before you go into the hotel room and have a few drinks. Vacation destinations like resorts and special spring break parties are notorious magnets for pick up artist (PUA) and other sex predators. PUAs as they like to refer to themselves are risky sex partners. Not only do they make for STD risky sex partners but they risk emotions. Like I say in my workshops condoms only protect against disease and pregnancy they do not protect against feelings. If they did who would use them. So don’t allow yourself to be seduced out of you moral judgment and say NO before you go up to the hotel room with some one you just met. And for those seducers remember the judge is not going to blame Jamie Foxx or Kenya West. They’re not even going to blame the alcohol. They are going to blame you and arrest you for RAPE.
8. Remember there will be more spring breaks and better parties. You are a college student and have to go back to school when spring break is over. Remember to party responsibly and don’t think it’s the last party you will ever be at. People who party smart in their 20s are still able to party well into their 60s and 70s. Trust me I’m well past my 20s and I’m still partying.