You may have seen this video of a group of black British men and women talking about the type of men the women liked. The video was posted on January 6th 2017 on the Facebook page of Black British Banter and went viral.  In the video the women make very provocative comments about the type of man they like and don’t like.  One of girls said that she wants a boss man who will take control of her and tell her to “shut up.” Another one of the young ladies said she wants a “bad man” and doesn’t want a man who is not respected when walking down the street. She continued to say she doesn’t like humble men because they don’t appear confident.

What makes the sentiment that these women have bad is that it disses good men like Barack Obama. Men who control their emotions.  It also is based in some major counterproductive prejudices for women who are looking for a man they can have a happy relationship with.  I will now highlight five aspects of this mentality that keep women from recognizing a man who may be good from them.    

  1. Nervousness: This is a big misjudgment because everyone gets nervous.  Being nervous is not always a sign of lack of confidence.  Image a job interview.  Depending on the importance of the job people will get more nervous if it is a dream job as opposed to a second job.  Interviewing for an important life changing job people will get so nervous that they will play things safe and act very conservative.  Nervousness and all of the symptoms that come with it on dates are more a sign of respect than of the character of the person. So, instead of nervousness being a sign of a weak man it is more than likely that it is a sign of a man who has respect for the woman they are on a date with.
  2. Mileage: Sexual and dating history AKA mileage is another area both men and women misjudge.  Having a lot of sexual partners is not as a good thing for women but for men its accepted.  Having lots of partners (more than you can count) can make it hard for a person for a to get married and be happily monogamist. Men who are considered “Bad Boys” often have a lot of sexual partners while men who may be considered nice men may not.
  3. Attitude: Controlling and tough are the words some women use to describe the attitude they desire but controlling and tough are also characteristics of abusive people.  Couples in healthy relationships describe their relationship as a mutual respectable.  It is divorced couples who cite emotional domination and oppressive individuality as issues in their past relationships.  It is only logical that when one person tries to control another in a relationship eventually there will be a conflict.  
  4. Medium or extremely attractive: People, especially younger people place a high value on appearance. They overlook people because of their looks.  Now, I’m not suggesting people should date people they find unattractive, what I am saying is being more attractive does not make you a better person.  Sometimes physical appearance can hamper a person’s character development.  Physically attractive people can be spoiled by attention and don’t always develop social skills needed to maintain the emotional sharing of a healthy relationship.
  5. Career: What a person does for a living is huge misjudgment. You can never tell how much a person makes by the type of job they have.  The type of job a person has doesn’t correlate with the type of person they are.  Meaning just because a person has a high paying job or a job of high status doesn’t mean they are nice people.  And on the contrary a person with a low level job or low paying job doesn’t mean the person is of low character.

As always I hope this list has made you think if not expanded your thinking.  Thank you for reading and entertaining my ideas.  Yo Jeff out.