Real Health: When we get mad, what should we really ask ourselves?
John Israel, PsyD, HSPP: Anger is not the primary emotion; it’s a reaction to something else, like feeling hurt, frustrated or disapointed. And when you can’t control those feelings, people choose to lean toward anger. Ask yourself why do you really feel this way, and connect with those emotions.
What are some ways to deal with anger?
It’s good to distance yourself from it. Try listening to calm music or using visual relaxation and breathing techniques. Also, consider talking to a professional or friend.
Are there times that we should not forgive someone?
Absolutely. Forgiving someone for hurting you is different than letting go of the pain, forgiving yourself, moving forward and walking away from that relationship. Is forgiving this person going to be beneficial for you, or does it mean taking back someone who is abusing you or constantly disrespecting you? True forgiveness can only exist in an equal relationship.
The Expert Says
Indiana-based psychologist John Israel, PsyD, HSPP, weighs in on holding onto anger and the power of moving on.